Destiny of a Tsundere Shrine Maiden
by Dalek Saxon
Summary: On Kagami's seventeenth birthday...her unknown fate as a Shrine Maiden curses her to be hunted by an unknown force...only her Chosen Guardian Konata...with her Giant Robot can protect her...based off of Kannazuki no Miko (Destiny of Shrine Maiden) and is more or less a parody of it...Konami, apologies for my awfulness, Rated T For Terrible...you know...the basics...CHAPTER 3 UP!
1. Chapter 1

One day I decided to piss on the Lucky Star franchise by writing some stupid fan fiction that to this day people still sharpen their tools for which harm me...and since that day I have spread my atrocities to more stories...then day I saw an anime which made me want further destroy the Lucky Star franchise...it was a Mecha show...but not only that...a Yuri romance show...that show was Kannazuki no Miko...or Destiny of a Shrine Maiden...it was so bad that I though "Hey...it'd be awesome to combine the two wouldn't it? Something so unforgivably bad that only I could do such a horrible thing" and...well...now...here we are...

I do not own Lucky Star nor do I own the other show...and if I did I'd run those two franchises into the ground so fast the crater from the impact would make the Vredefort Crater look like a small hole in the ground...

And where to start...well where else could I start...Chapter 1 of course...and the let the impact begin!

**Chapter 1: A Chosen One and A Chosen Protector/I choose you! Terrible-mon!**

Some stories are so amazing they are passed down for generations before slipping into legend. However, after so long the story gets distorted and changed. Until eventually it doesn't even sound similar to how it originally was. So most of the time we don't even know what's fact or fiction...hell maybe it's all fiction. Either way the original story is lost...it could've been a spectacular event...or in some cases...something so unbelievably stupid that it couldn't help not becoming a legend...this...is one of those cases...

For one thing it starred about a sixteen year old girl living in modern Japan...ehhh see? Not the typical main character for an old historic story right? Now before you think this is a high school comedy or something...let me just point out that she's more than what she seems...she's actually a shrine maiden to her family...along with her older sisters and her twin sister Tsukasa...oh her names Kagami Hiiragi...

And of course like every typical main character, they don't know about their true selves...well...Kagami knew she was a shrine maiden...but...didn't know the full story behind it...yeah one of those things...one of those "I don't know my true powers yet" kind of things...but of course she'll find out later when...oh...I'm getting ahead of myself sorry...now where was I...umm...hold on I lost my place in the story...ummmm...ughhh this is another reason why I hate books...umm...ehh...Ahh forget it! I'll just start wherever!

Kagami was walking to school...her sister sick for the day and staying home. Kagami was your typical girl who happens to be the main character...smart...athletic...lots of friends...beautiful...oh so beautiful...and that sexy build of hers mmmm! Ehh...ahem...however despite all this...did not have a boyfriend...big shocker right? So as you can see...a typical high school girl for these kinds of stories...and one of think she was pretty content with her situation...but you would be wrong!

'Gee." Thought Kagami with a sigh, 'If only my life was mystical, and amazing and full of wonder and maybe a touch of romance with my best-'

"Ahh! What's going on!? Who's putting those weird thoughts into my head?" She screamed out loud all of a sudden scared at what was going on...why it's me! The narrator of this story! Just describing what you're thinking of course!

"What the hell is going on!? Why is there a narrator!? And why do you sound exactly like-!"

"Yoohoo! Kagamin!" An oh so familiar voice called to her from behind, and with one quick turn Kagami spotted her closest and most dear friend Konata...running up to her waving her hand with the usual energy she's expect of her...

"Konata! Tell me you hear that!" Kagami screamed as she turned around looking panic stricken...wow no friendly 'hello'...typical rude Kagami...

"Shut up!" She screamed looking up into the sky no angry with her normal rage filled demeanor...oh wait did I forget to mention she was a Tsundere...complete with the pig tails and everything? Opps...my bad...well she is!

"Wh-What...what's wrong Kagami? What are you talking about?" Konata responded innocently as she looked at Kagami both extremely confused and more importantly concerned for her friend...oh I should probably describe her like I did Kagami shouldn't I? Well...she's the most awesome girl you'll ever meet! Passionate for what she loves, and for people she cares about...kind considerate...a devoted fan of many animes and mangas...good ones I should add...and despite her...unfortunate small stature...she's still more athletic than most of her friends combined and is all around a kick ass person that you would pray to meet once in your life-

"Hey quit making her sound like a damned saint!" Kagami yelled out suddenly...cutting me off from going on unfortunately...

"K...Kagami...a...are you ok? Maybe you should sit down..." Konata responded...now officially worried that her best friend may be going a little crazy...

'Great maybe I am...I'm hearing a strange voice in my head' Get used to it Kagami... 'I'm just going to ignore you now and when I get home I'll load myself up on anti-psychotics' She thought to herself as she groaned and...H-Hey! Don't ignore me! I'm the narrator! Hey! Kagami! Kagami!

"No I'm fine Konata...just a little suffering from a little dehydration...you know it's very freaking hot after all..." Kagami said making up a dumb excuse as she fanned herself with her hand...

"O-Oh I see...well...when we get to school get a drink of whatever ok?" Konata replied giving her some advice as she was worried for her health...unlike Kagami who was always mean and rude...isn't that right Kagami...Kagami? Oh come on!

"I will...now let's hurry and get to school..." Kagami said as she turned around and started walking...Konata nodding her head in response and walking alongside her...

"Oh...speaking of school...I kind of...you know...forgot to do my homework..." Konata said a little reluctant as she knew that the girl next to her would-

"Oh of course...and you want to copy my homework don't you!?" Kagami said angrily as she looked at the poor girl like she was going to kill her! 'I am not! Shut up!'

"Please Kagami...I'll get you something special tomorrow...just for you..." Konata said offering her a present in return...

"What you weren't already? It's my birthday tomorrow! I'm turning Seventeen! Were you going to be cheap and not get me one unless I gave you my homework!?" Kagami accusingly said as fire erupted from her signaling the rage that burned inside her! 'Would you stop it!'

"I am I am...I was just joking Kagami...geez..." Konata replied giggling slightly as she waved her hand up and down...making Kagami feel terrible for lashing out at her dear friend... 'If I find you I'm going to show you in great detail what happens when I really lash out!' Ahh Scary! Sorry sorry!

"Geez...would you not joke about those things please..." Kagami said with a sigh as she looked at her friend genuinely asking her not to do that anymore...

"Ok ok I'm sorry...I won't joke about that sort of stuff anymore..." Konata agreed as she smiled her usual iconic cat smile and rubbed the back of her head, which made Kagami smile back and nod in response...

"But...since I'm being so nice now...can you please let me at least take a peek at your homework?" She then pleaded with a sad look in her eyes which was the exact look which would always melt the Tsundere's cold heart, 'D-Don't phrase it like that! It's embarrassing!'

"F-Fine...ok...you're so hopeless..." Kagami agreed as she folded her arms and looked away...not wanting her best friend to see the blush on her face...the very cute blush I might add... 'Sh-Shut up!'

"Thanks Kagami..." Konata thanked sweetly which only increased the blush on Kagami's adorable face...'Sh-Shut up already!'

"Yeah yeah...don't expect this all the time...I'll show you it when we get to school..." Kagami answered as...wait...school!? Oh no! I don't do school...let me just skip ahead...hold on...ehhh...hmmm...classes...lunch...Miyuki-san saying some mysterious...blah...blah...oh...the scene where they're walking home from school...that's good enough right...ahem...after school...Kagami and Konata made their way home together...

'Geez what a lazy narrator...' Kagami thought insultingly as...Hey! I'm doing my best alright!?

"Man, what another boring day at school!" Konata said exhaustingly as she placed both her hands behind her head...making a very important valid point...

"It's only boring to you because you're not normal..." Kagami dryly said in return as she looked at her with a dark expression on her face.

"No school's just always boring...you don't have to be normal to know that..." Konata replied making a moaning noise to further show her discontent with school...

"Whatever...I don't want to hear anything from someone who cheats her way through school..." Kagami said teasingly as a smirk appeared on her face...insulting her over the fact that she copied her homework...

"Yeah Yeah I know...without you I'd probably be dead in the water..." Konata agreed with a reluctant sigh before looking back at Kagami with a smile on her face...which surprised the lavender haired girl as she looked at her with a shocked expression on her face.

"Which...by the way...thanks for letting me see your homework earlier...it really saved me Kagami...I'm grateful..." Konata thanked as she stopped and gave Kagami a sincere bow...which surprised her even more and forced her to look away, a deep blush forming on her cuter by the second face...unable to say or even think anything all she did was nod back to her...

"And don't worry...I promise I'll give you some extra special for your birthday tomorrow...just you wait..." Konata then said sweetly which made Kagami look back at her...not even caring anymore that Konata was seeing her flustered face...and looked at her as her eyes quivered in place before gently smiling back at her and titling her head slightly.

"I'm looking forward to it..." Kagami replied in her dere dere tone which is something anyone...including Konata would die just to hear once in their lifetime...seriously just the pitch alone would send hundreds of battle hardened warriors speechless with awe...it's just so incredible that even the mightiest of- 'O-Ok we get it! Shesh! S-Shut up already!' ...kyahhhh...and just like that Tsun Tsun is back...well it was good while it lasted right?

The two didn't say much else to each other on the way home and then shortly afterwards said their goodbyes and parted ways. Kagami continued to head home with a much brighter step then which she left with and...ok are we just going to follow her then? Geez now that Konata's gone I don't feel really invested anymore... 'H-Hey!' so...let me just skip through the boring parts...do do do do...goes home...greets parents...goes upstairs...does ughhh...newly assigned homework...Yuck! You know they could've at least given some breather days before assigning more you know!? Ahhh! Anyways...she does her homework...like a good little girl...and then when dinner was done she went downstairs...looks like a boring dinner to me...so maybe I should just continue skipping...oh wait this looks important...ahem..

"Kagami..." Her father suddenly said seriously as he looked at her across the table...which immediately got her attention...

"Yeah...what's up dad?" She responded a little nervous as a sweat drop appeared on her forehead...

"You do realize that tomorrow is your seventeenth birthday do you?" He asked still in that serious tone as he looked at her sternly...

"Yeah...how could I forget...it's my and Tsukasa's birthday..." Kagami answered a little confused as she looked at him like something was wrong. 'Yeah how could I not forget? You don't just forget your own birthday just like that...especially when you share it with a twin sister...and why didn't you mention her by the way?'

"You're going to become a woman tomorrow Kagami...and because of that you're life's going to change more than you can possibly imagine..." He said ominously and...rather creepily as it seemed like he stared right through his daughter which understandably made her feel a little uncomfortable as she leaned back...

"I can't say anything until the destined time...but I want you to know that no matter what happens...do not be afraid and be the strong girl I know you are..." He cautioned as he went back to eating...leaving his daughter speechless and confused...just looking at him like he just came in and destroyed everything in her room for no reason whatsoever...

"Oh go bring this bowl of food up to Tsukasa...she's still so sick she can't leave her room..." Kagami's mother said pleasantly thankfully changing the subject as she held up a bowl filled with delicious yummy food...man I should've ate earlier...because I'm starving and that looks good, 'You're a disembodied voice...how CAN you eat...how can you even get hungry?' Hey disembodied narrator voices need to eat too you know!

"Yeah...sure mom..." She agreed without any complaints as she grabbed the bowl, stood up, and left the room leaving her father, mother, and two elder sisters behind...walking up the stairs completely confused... 'Geez what was dad going on about? Oh god...he...he's not going to give me 'The Talk' is he? Geez that's so creepy! I'm going to be Seventeen in High School...you're a little late dad because I already know all that stuff...thanks to a little perverted girl I know...' Hey she's just preparing you for the future since your dad couldn't! 'I don't need your comments! Just shut up!'

Man...shouldn't the main character of a story argue with the narrator less...what a disobedient girl...anyways...she went up stairs and knocked on her little sister's door...she didn't hear a reply though so she reluctantly let herself in... "Tsukasa?" She called concerned that her sister may be too weak to reply...

"A-Ah...O...Onee-chan...sorry...I...I couldn't hear you knock on the door..." Tsukasa replied in a feeble almost inaudible voice as she lay in bed with her eyes barely open...

"I brought you dinner..." She said as she walked over to her bed with the food bowl held up in her hands to show it.

"Ah...T...Thank you Onee-chan..." She thanked as she tried to sit up in her bed...slowly worming her way up seeming like she barely had the strength to do so...

"Are you feeling any better?" Kagami asked nicely her poor bed sick sister as she placed the bowl in her lap...

"Yes I am thank you...I should be ok for our birthday tomorrow..." She answered as she picked up the bowl...the steam from how warm it was filling her nose...the taste...the smell...ohhhh...oh ahem...sorry...hungry you know...

"Well that's good to hear...you know dad has something important he wants to talk to us about...because it's our seventeenth birthday and we're becoming women..." Kagami said telling her about what their father said earlier...

"Oh dear...it's not 'The Talk' is it?" She asked nervously as a sweat drop appeared on her forehead...

"You know that's exactly what I thought!" Kagami replied before laughing...Tsukasa immediately following and the both girls just stood there giggling to each other...awwww having a sister moment...or a twin moment I should say...how cute!

"Anyways Onee-chan..." Tsukasa then said after her giggling died down, "You better go...I don't want you to catch this cold like I did before tomorrow..." She advised suggesting that she leaved...

"Alright Tsukasa..." She agreed as she turned around and headed for the door, "Do your best to feel better ok?" She encouraged as she reached the door...

"I will...thanks Onee-chan...see you tomorrow..." She thanked before saying her farewell to her elder sister...her hotter elder sister I might add...oh yeah I didn't describe Tsukasa did I...ummm...she's a rather plain and simple looking girl...with sad eyes and an always innocent expression...someone who would be really popular with the boys but for some reason...like Kagami never had any luck...but anyways...Kagami's sexier...she's my kind of girl! 'Sh-Shut up you!'

"Bye..." She said as she left the room...closing the door behind her and seeing her younger sister's brightly smiling face...which made her happy because she knew she was going to be alright...she was worried because she suddenly got very sick for some reason out of the blue...but now her worries were gone...

Anyways...more boring uninteresting things happened...she did more of her homework...she read some light novels and ate some fat inducing sweets even though she knew they were bad for her...naughty naughty Kagami...going against your diet...ahem...anyways...later that night...she went to bed around ten...something...doesn't matter...but she went to bed...but unlike most of people her age going to bed before her birthday...she didn't feel exited or happy...she felt miserable and depressed...

'Oh my word...another year of my life has gone by and nothing special has happened...if only something amazing and wonderful would happen...that would really be the bees knees...' She thought to herself with a sigh and- 'Why the hell are you forcing those thoughts into my head? And why are you making me say it like that of all things? Who the hell talks like that anymore!?'

I'm just describing what you're feeling Kagami...being the good narrator after all. 'A good narrator wouldn't skip over most of the details in a story!' A good narrator knows that stuff is boring and irrelevant to the plot...so that's why I skipped it! 'Whatever...and besides that's not it at all...I'm not feeling good because I'm getting older...I don't exactly feel good about adding another year onto my age...' Geez what a depressing answer...can I start over with a better main character?

Whatever...after thinking depressing thoughts to herself she slowly fell into slumber. The night air cooed as the dark shadows of the soft bleak...pffff boring...no one cares...hmmm...ahh here we go! All of sudden...in the middle of the night...Kagami's phone all of a sudden rang...it shook her out of bed... 'What the...who the hell is calling me at night?' She grumpily thought as she got up and picked up her phone...noticing two things...one that it was a minute past midnight and that it was from Konata... 'Why is she calling me at this late hour?' She thought as she reluctantly answered the call and put the phone to her ear...

"Kagami!" Konata screamed as soon as she put the phone to her ear, "Something happened to me!" She screamed hysterical which immediately woke her up as she instantly thought that something bad happened to her best friend...

"What!? What's wrong!? Did something terrible happen!?" Kagami frantically asked hoping that nothing unfortunately befallen on her best friend...especially on the first minute on her birthday...that would be the worst way to start it out!

"No...at least...I don't think so...I think something amazing happened! I suddenly have mystical energies flowing through me...and I feel as though my stats are through the roof!" She answered now sounding excited and happy...which immediately made Kagami groan and enraged...

"Geez! Don't scare me like that! I thought something happened to you! The next time you level up or whatever don't bother me in the middle of the night to tell me!" She screamed in reply as she lowered her phone to abruptly hang it up.

"Kagami wait!" She heard Konata call out desperately...but didn't want to hear anymore...

"Idiot..." She replied as she hung up as she put the phone down...going back and crawling in bed...

She couldn't go back to sleep however...as Konata kept calling her nonstop throughout the night...as well as sending her endless amounts of text messages. She jumped out of bed...more pissed off than ever and rushed to her phone, picking it up, turning it off, and then throwing it down before going back to bed. Peace seemed to return to Kagami thankfully as it felt like she was about to go back to sleep...however we all know that thanks to stories like this...that isn't going to happen...and sure enough...a loud knock was heard on the front door on the Hiiragi house...

She knew she was the only one awake as it was after midnight...and didn't want anyone else to be woken up by the loud knocking. She quickly got out of her bed and ran downstairs...having a suspicious sinking feeling as to who it is. She opened the door and her suspicions were confirmed...there before her was Konata...still in her pajamas and panting...as if she ran all the way here...

"What do you want...do you know how late it is?" Kagami angrily said undoubtedly ready to shut the door in the poor girls face...geez she rushed all this way to see you...you can at least say hello!

"Kagami...I know this sounds absurd and crazy...but you have to listen to me!" Konata shouted desperate as she moved closer to her, which made Kagami lean back slightly a little disturbed, "I've been chosen...I've been chosen to be your protector!" She then said trying to explain herself...

"You've been chosen..." Kagami said darkly as she looked at Konata like she had finally lost her poor mind...

"Yes...I've been selected to be with you at all times and protect you from anything that dares try to lay a finger on you..." She continued hoping the doubtful Tsundere would try to understand and believe her...

"You're going to protect me..." Kagami said more dark than before as her eye twitched and her hand on the door started shaking in anger...

"Yes...so don't worry Kagami...I know I was selected because I'm the best possible candidate...I mean with all my experience and skills there's no way anything could ever come close to harming you!" She said confidently as she hit the center of her chest with her fist...but unfortunately made Kagami growl in anger...

"Go Home Konata! This isn't funny!" She shouted in response as she shut the door in her face...geez any harder Kagami and the poor door would've flown off the hinges! 'Oh shut up! You're bad enough! I don't need her stupidity as well!'

"Wait Kagami! You don't understand! Please!" Konata called from behind the door...but unfortunately Kagami would have none of it and simply continued walking away...starting to head up the stairs...

'Geez it's happened...she's finally gone crazy...I knew this would happen...by why on the start of my birthday of all things? She couldn't have waited a few more days before going completely insane?' She thought to herself as she reached the top of the stairs and started to head to her room...however before she could reach her door a loud crash and explosion was heard...which shook the entire house by its foundation and caused Kagami to fall to the ground violently.

"What the hell was that!?" She screamed as she got back up...turning around and running back down the stairs...

She rushed to the front door and ran outside...no sight of Konata anyway...she looked around at the houses and cars that were shaken up do the shockwave before hearing another pounding sound...this time softer and nowhere near as violent...and it seemed to be coming from a certain direction...she moved her head to where the sound seemed to be coming from and gasped at what she saw...it looked like a hand was on top of a house down the street 'W-What...what...what is going on? This...this can't be happening...' She thought to herself as the hand slowly moved across the roof of the building...

Then it fell once it reached the end of the house and then it fully appeared as it entered the street that Kagami was on. It was a large huge creature...completely covered in bandages for some reason and having long arms that reached ground...which was impressive considering that it was larger than a three story house...it's body was long and appeared to have small stumpy legs and it's head was small with a non-existant mouth with large eyes...and even though it had no mouth it still managed to make out a large ear piercing scream...heheheh to be honest...this monster sounds kind of cute...

"This...This can't be happening...This can't be Happening...This can't be happening!" Kagami said to herself...not believing the sight that was in front of her...however when the monster looked down at saw her...it started to slowly move towards her...she knew this was no time to try and convince herself that this may or may not be real...she turned around and ran as fast as she could not thinking about anything else...

The large creature chased after her...having difficulty though thanks to its short legs...but it was still managing to gain ground on her. Kagami turned the nearest street corner available and then the next...desperately trying to get away...but to her horror as she turned her head around it was till gaining on her...and when she stopped looking at what was in front of it...the cliché-est of cliché-est things happened...she tripped and fell to the ground...hitting it the ground with a loud thud...she still had her gaze fixed on the creature as it stopped and lowered its arms to grab her...she couldn't bear to see it squeeze her to death so she closed her eyes...

However to her surprise she didn't feel anything reach around her waist and grab her...and instead her a loud thudding sound along with some clanking sounds...when she opened her eyes she saw...well...it says here she saw Konata run up with a sword...but she's not a super girl...there's no way she can do that...even if she was chosen to be her protector...so you know what...instead of sword...let's say...ummm...ah! She's in a giant robot! Yeah that makes things so much better! She looked up and saw a giant mech standing above her...which...looked like...umm...hold on let me do a quick internet search...ehhhh...umm...it looks like...ahh it looks like the Wing Gu*dam! Sure let's go with that! Kagami looked up and saw a funky version of the Wing Gu*dam standing above her! Which looked mostly blue like Konata's hair except for the white legs, white head, and white forearms...along with the weird multi-colored wings which had thrusters hidden in them...

"Wh-What the hell!?" She screamed out in response to seeing the large robot right above her head...holding the monster back with the machine's arms grabbing the monster...

"Kagami! Go! Run!" She heard a loud voice come from the machine...which...which was undoubtedly...

"K-Konata!?" She called in disbelief, "Is...Is that you in that thing!?" She said wanting to confirm whether it was or was not her best friend piloting the giant robot that stood above her...

"Yes...but...there's no time to explain! Hurry! Get out of here!" She confirmed as it looked like she was having trouble keeping the creature at bay for this long...

"W-What's going on! Why are you in that machine!? Why is there a monster out to get me!? What the hell is going on!" She desperately asked wanting to know exactly what was going on...or to better put...wanting to know anything in the slightest that would clue her in...oh poor clueless Kagami...

"Ahh!" Konata screamed as the monster violently shook and ripped off the mech's right arm which made Kagami gasp in fear, "N-No time to explain! Just go! Run!" Konata screamed sounding like she was in pain...which made Kagami gasp again...before quickly nodding, getting up, and then running away again...

'What...What the hell...Konata in a Giant Robot? A monster trying to kill me!? Why is this happening? And on my birthday no less!' She frantically thought as she ran...turning as many corners as she could to try and get away...feeling worse and worse the further she got away...she felt like she abandoned her best friend...to fight that monster by herself...but what could she do...she was just a normal average high school girl...right...right...yeah yeah I know try to control you snickering we all know she's special in some way...but just bear with me because of course she's going to figure it out on accident...anyways...ahem...

Then all of a sudden the building right next to her crumbled as the robot Konata seemed to be piloting and the creature were still fighting...though this time the mech looked even more damaged than before...it weakly tried to punch the monster again...but it easily dodged and punched the mech's left leg...badly damaging it and then quickly punched the mech's chest with its other fist which made it go flying past Kagami and against a building which started to make it crumble as well...

"Konata!" Kagami shouted as the mech slumped against the building looking severely beat up... 'How...How can this be happening' she desperately thought as she feared for the safety of her best friend...

"Kagami...I...I need you...help..." Konata said weakly as the mech's head turned and looked at her...the lights in the eyes getting dim as it tried to get up from the building, debris falling on as it tried to do so...however with a badly damaged leg and only one arm...this proved difficult...

"Wh...What do you want me to do!? It's not like I can do anything!" She screamed back at her as a loud stomping sound came from behind her...which made her turn around to see the giant creature lower his arm and grab her within his mighty grasp...she struggled to squirm out of it...but to no avail...

"Kagami! Don't...don't worry...I'm coming..." Konata said even weaker than before as she struggled even more to get up...but her attempts merely cut the damaged leg in half and now it was physically impossible for it to stand up...and a loud blood curling scream was heard which mean that Konata was undoubtedly suffering...

"K-Konata..." Kagami said softly in disbelief...not even concerned about the monster that held her within its grasp...and only looked at the battle damaged machine that held her best friend inside of it...the eyes in the center of the head getting dimmer before fully disappearing as it no longer moved...

"N-No way..." She said in horror as she continued to look onwards... 'How...How can this be happening...this...this is just impossible...but...Konata...I don't care about me...just...move...or at least say something...you can't...no...No! No!'

"Konata!" Kagami shouted at the top of her lungs, tears in her eyes...and against all odds and possibility...she started to glow...bright purple no less...and then a powerful aura erupted from her...which shocked the creature that held her as it barely held it's grasp on her...the power was that great...

The Aura spread into the air and then funneled towards the downed Mech...which in turn made it glow bright purple as well...then the eyes relit...stronger than ever...a powerful and strong purple before turning bright blue...along with the rest of the machine...the blue energy enveloped the entire mech as it formed a new transparent leg fueled by the power...it stood up without a problem and stepped away from the building...

"Hey!" Konata shouted, sounding much stronger and determined than before, "That's my Tsundere you have in your filthy paw! That alone was bad enough to make me hunt you down to the pits of hell itself...but now...now...you made her cry! You have no shame...you're not even worth to call yourself a beast...just a lowly piece of trash not fit for the most disgusting dump that can be found on this planet!" She shouted even louder...completely enraged as the blue energy formed and created a new transparent arm...

"Kon...Konata..." Kagami said in awe as the powerful glow still illuminated from her body... her mind was now officially blown at what she was seeing before her...well...you know...if it hasn't been blown multiple times already...

"I'll never forgive you!" She screamed as the thrusters on the back and legs engaged...launching it towards the petrified monster who was probably more stunned and confused than poor Kagami...

It grabbed the creature around the waist and then the jets kicked into overdrive...fueled by the power that was still being given by Kagami. It rushed into the sky at such a blazing speed that Kagami had to close her eyes...then Konata's mech kicked the hopeless monster into the air...and the arm completely created out of energy solidified and become an actual physical arm...although this time at the end of the arm was a large rifle...the aura seeping off of it...it pointed it's new found weapon at the monster that was still gaining altitude and fired without a second thought...

The light that come from the end of the rifled shot the air and completely enveloped the creature...slowly vaporizing it and designating it as it let out one final cry that seemed incredibly painful and horrific to be honest...but who cares it's a monster! Oh...umm...Kagami however...was perfectly fine and untouched as her newly freed body fell to the ground...she didn't know what was going on since she had her eyes closed the entire time but new she was falling as she felt her ungripped body descend at an incredible pace... however it was soon remedied as she felt a different hand..gently place itself beneath her and stopped her rapid decent to earth...

She finally opened her eyes and looked up at the machine that saved her life...noticing that she was in the machine's free hand...the robot turn its head and looked down at her...one of the eyes getting dim as the head titled somewhat...as if it was winking at her...

"I told you I would protect you Kagami..." Konata screamed victoriously from within the immense mech as they both fell slowly from the sky...

"K...Konata..." she said weakly...the aura still appearing off of her...

"I know this is a bad timing...let me just say..." Konata started before she suddenly appeared in the hand of the machine right next to Kagami, "I couldn't get you a present in time for your birthday...so...I guess I'll be your birthday present..." She said as she kneeled down right next to Kagami...whose eyes widened in shock unable to say anything...

"Happy Birthday Kagami..." She said softly as her face lowed closer to Kagami...but before she could do anything Kagami passed out...oh yes the typical mystical girl passing out as soon as she uses her powers once...you know that deal right?

"Kagami...Kagami!" Konata shouted as she grabbed her and started to shake her...trying in vain to wake her up the aura seeming to only increase...but of course that's not going to happen...now this is where most first chapters would end...but I'm feeling extra generous so let me give you a slip of the next chapter...ahem...

In black room surrounded by ten runes with a crystal ball in the center...ummm...ten figures appeared in shadows next to each of the runes...then the crystal ball suddenly lit up...

"It appears we were too late in killing the priestess before she knew about her powers..." One of the figures said...in a dark unrecognizable tone...

"But we send _Gimelyf_! Our most powerful and loyal of servants...how could it have failed!" Another one said in disbelief...they're the main characters of course! They won't go down that easy...I mean..ahem...

"Her guardian appeared and saved her from our preemptive strike...she's more fierce and stronger than others in the past...if only we could've done something about her guardian beforehand!" Another one said...in almost the exact tone of voice...

"There's no way we could've known who would be chosen until they are already chosen...there was nothing we could've done..." Again another one said...

"I like doggies!" Another one...whaaa?

"Then we have no choice but to do things the hard way...and the fun way no less..." One of the figures said...but walking forward into the light to reveal a small girl with tan skin and brown hair...

"Don't worry...just leave this to me..." She said, her voice becoming less demonic and more human like, "I'm the closest to her in High School anyways...so don't worry...this will all be over before school gets out tomorrow..." She said with a wink...her fang glistening off the crystal's light...

Dun Dun Dunnnnn! Well things are sure to be interesting now...hmmmm...what? You want me to continue? Well...too bad...I have to eat you know and other things to do of course...but don't threat...this is a story after all and of course Kagami and Konata won't fall to the first of the Ten Disciples of the Nocturne...opps...I said too much...uhhh...Look forward to next time!

See Ya!

**Author's Notes**

Ah yes...what Dalek Saxon Story wouldn't be complete with the traditional Dalek Saxon brand of whining...there's no insert song because...there was no room for it...it's terrible enough as it is so it doesn't need any help from a forced in song...but anyways...this is...dreadful...but it's a dreadful that puts a smile on my face because it was crap inspired off an actual piece of crap...so it's a parody that's suppose to be bad...so I don't care if people like or hate this because this falls into its own brand of awful...

And to repeat myself I was inspired after watching Destiny of a Shrine Maiden...a Yuri Mecha show that failed as both a romance and a mecha show...so I figured "ah if this sucks I might as well through Kagami and Konata in it for lolz" and this is the result...I hope you enjoyed it and found vomiting in the puke bucket more enjoyable than the other stories I've done...oh and this is the reason why I haven't done a Gundam story or a Gundam crossover or anything action-y...it's because I can't write it...it's too vague and random and fast paced...doesn't make sense and is just awful...which makes it befitting for this story since it's awful from start to finish!

Also this was my experimental attempt at a third person story...which is very similar to my first person style as the Narrator is a character in himself...but who is the narrator? I originally meant it to be me since I was forcing this story anyways with my not caring and of course the Gundam reference...but decided to change that halfway through the thought process...now it maybe me...who knows...but it may also be Konata...hmmm don't know...of course...it maybe Haruhi from the Haruhi franchise...who knows...or it may be Hiyori...or it could be a secret character...who knows...I'll leave this up to you...

To be honest...I' m not continuing this...I already have enough of my plate with my other stories plus...this was meant as a bad one time deal...but to be honest...I had a blast writing this since it's meant to be awful and is Mecha..a franchise I love so dearly...so I'll leave this up to you...should I continue this? Should I drop it? Should I feel horrible for even thinking this up? If I get 5 reviews within the next week saying "Go for it" or "yes continue please" I will...so this is up to you...poor readers...

So until whenever...I am the Mecha lover Dalek Saxon...Sayonara!


	2. Chapter 2

What the...what is this story doing back? I thought you sparred us all and deleted this story a long time ago! Yeah well it's back...to celebrate the fact that I got my first ever 100 Reviews to my Battle for an Otaku Story...to which I personally thank anyone and everyone for reviewing that piece of garbage...and here's your reward...another piece of garbage...but thankfully this is meant to be garbage and if you're someone who is aware of my history of writing garbage this should be more of the same to you!

So like I said here is your reward...Chapter 2 of my terrible Mecha story!

**Chapter 2: Lives Forever Changed.../Lives Forever Ruined More Like It!**

Hmmm? What are you...oh! That's right...you're here for another gripping tale of fantasy and romance aren't you? Well I'm happy to oblige! Just let me get the book out and...there...now...when we last left our heroines they were at the mercy of the Nocturne in their final battle...a few inches away from death...and...wait...that doesn't sound right...what's going on here...oh yeah! This is an American book...I have to read left to right not right to left...geez...why can't American's style their books like we do!? It just complicates things!

Hmmm...ok here we go! Kagami slowly opened her eyes and found herself staring at her ceiling... "What...what kind of dream was that..." She said to herself in a light whisper as she sat up in her bed. Oh of course it has to be a dream right? Nobody can't just ever accept what happens in front of them until like the second or third time right?

However as soon as she sat up though something felt different. She felt...good...really good, undoubtedly the best she has ever felt in her entire life. Is it because she's a year older and now she's seventeen? Or could it be that freaking giant robot versus giant monster fight that happened last night that you're just shrugging off! Are you even listening to me Kagami? Kagami!

"Unfortunately though the annoying narrator wasn't a part of my dream..." She said dryly to herself with a sigh. Are you-!? Seriously Kagami?! Fine whatever! Anyways...before she could get out of bed though she saw her best friend Konata come into her room...or as I like to think...the person who should've been the main character of this freaking story!

"Yoohoo! Kagami! I see you're finally awake..." Konata cheerfully said as Kagami pulled the blanket to cover up her body like she wasn't wearing anything...but unfortunately she was wearing her pajamas so it doesn't make much sense for her to be doing that...

"How many times do I have to tell you to knock before entering my room and wh-what are you doing here anyways?" The shocked and embarrassed Tsundere shouted as a light tint of red appeared on her face...making her look oh so cute...

"I've been here since last night remember?" Konata replied honestly looking confused and concerned at the same time. Unfortunately this seemed to make Kagami upset for some reason...

"We have school today and you've been out there all night! You should've gone home! Who let you in? Dad? Mom? Or one of my Sisters?" Kagami angrily asked as she leaned forward with a fist out looking like she was ready to punch her...which made the poor Otaku even more confused...

"What are you talking about...I brought you back here after I saved you from that monster..." Konata explained nonchalantly as if that was a normal occurrence for her...which it will be now but to Kagami it didn't yet click inside her brain...so she unfortunately took it as a lie...

"What are you crazy...that was just a stupid dream...wait...how do you even know about it in the first place?" She responded as she jumped out of bed before realizing she knew what happened in her 'dream'...Yeah this is a hint Kagami...that it might be real...just saying...

"Because it actually happened! I saved you in a Giant Robot against some monster thing...and then you passed out right in front of me...so I brought you back here..." She further elaborated in more detail as she walked up to the still resistant girl...Geez what does she need to do? Summon the thin right in front of her?

"Yeah right like something crazy like that could actually happen!" Kagami retorted not believing it for one second unfortunately...thankfully though...Konata had a sure fire way to make her believe...

"Yeah uhhh Kagami..." Konata said with a grin as she grabbed Kagami and moved her to one of her mirrors "You're still glowing..." She then teasingly finished as she turned Kagami's head to face herself in the mirror...which instantly made her eyes widen in shock...

"What the hell!" Kagami screamed at the top of her lungs as she looked at her lit up self in the mirror and saw the purple aura coming off of her...she better believe now or else I'm seriously skipping ahead to the point where she does believe!

"You know Kagami...I always knew you had some kind of cute glow about you...but this is just icing on the cake!" Konata teased as she appeared behind her in the mirror...putting a hand in front of her mouth to try and conceal her giggling...

"Shut up! This isn't the time! Why am I glowing!?" She shouted in a fury as she moved around to see if the aura was completely around her...which it was...she even lifted up her pajama top somewhat to see if her stomach was glowing...which, again, it was...so it's safe to assume her that every part of her body was glowing...ohhhh how I would love to see her glowing- 'Knock it off! You're just making things worse!' Yeah Yeah sorry...ahem...anyways...

"Because I...umm...yeah I don't know..." Konata honestly replied as she shrugged and threw up her hands...at least she's honest about it Kagami!

"But you were the one fighting the monster last night and knew they suddenly had weird powers...so shouldn't you know what's going on!?" She shouted as she pointed to her as if accusing her of starting all this...which isn't the case of course...

"Oh so you admit that wasn't a dream huh?" Konata teasingly said as she looked at Kagami with a victorious smirk on her face...well at least she admits that's going on is real now...I guess when you wake up and find yourself glowing you might be inclined to believe anything...

"Shut up and answer the question!" Kagami shouted as she gritted her teeth and tried to hold back her blush...but to no avail of course...

"I just know how to use the mech...it's not like I know the details of how and why..." She answered as she rubbed the back of her head with had a few sweat drops flowing down...of course if she did it spoil the exposition later!

"Why...Why me!? If I go outside get seen like this I'll be sent to a research facility to be studied and experimented on!" Kagami said unhappily as she continued to look at herself in the mirror...fearing what other people would say if they saw her like this...though...slightly comforted by the fact that Konata accepted her already...though she would accept Kagami no matter what because she knew that Konata cared about her so much that nothing could ever change how she would-'O-O-Ok! We get it...your going a little overboard here!' Geez shouldn't the narrator decide when she goes overboard? Not the character within the story?

"I won't allow that! As your protector I won't allow anyone studying your body and experimenting with it besides me!" Konata said seriously as she hit her chest with her fist...ah the ideal and perfect protector...Kagami's is in good hands right?

"Shut up! You're not funny!" Kagami responded now really really blushing at what she just said...she's really cute when she blushes by the way...

"Kagami! You changed!" Konata shouted as she pointed at her pigtailed friend...who immediately turned to face the mirror to see that the purple aura that was around her now changed into the color of light red...the same exact color of her blushing face...

"Wh...What the hell?" Kagami said softly as she noticed the change in her color...of course we already most likely know what's happening but of course they don't yet...but they're about to find out...

"Kagami...I think the glow has something to do with your emotions..." Konata suggested as she looked over her friend and the new color she came with...smiling slightly as she liked that glow as well...

"Well...W-What do I do..." Kagami asked frantically as she looked over herself again...again like before finding that every part of her body was covered in the aura...

"Try calming down..." Konata said in a soothing voice as she moved her hands up in down to try and calm her...which didn't really work as Kagami was looking more and more hysteric!

"That's easy for you to say Konata since you're not the one looking like a Christmas light!" She shouted back to her as she looked at her shaking as she was really afraid now...breathing heavily and

"Kagami..." Konata said in a whisper as she slowly took her hands, "Calm down...focus on something else like...I know...focus on my breathing...don't think about anything else except matching your breathing with mine!" She then suggested as she gripped her hands and smiled at her sweetly...which made Kagami's breathing slow down as she looked into Konata's green eyes...

"O...Ok..." Kagami said softly as she closed her and then slowly matched her breathing to hers...awwww watch a touching moment... 'You...you're not helping...quiet!' Sorry...anyways...Konata slowly closed her eyes as they fully synced their breathing and...well I shouldn't tell you this now because they surely don't know this by now...but their heartbeats matched as well...then...the glow seemed to evaporate more and more until it fully faded away...after a few seconds Konata opened her eyes to check on Kagami and discovered that the glow had subsided...

"There you go Kagami...you did it!" Konata cheered as she let go of Kagami's hands...Kagami opened her eyes as well and turned to face the mirror and smiled as she looked at usual boring old self... 'Hey! Glowing isn't normal! At least I look normal now!' Whatever...boring old self...

"Thank you Konata..." Kagami thanked as she turned to face Konata again who was smiling back at her, "Now get out...I have to get changed for school..." She commanded as she started to push Konata towards the door...what? School? Are you kidding me!

"What? School? Are you kidding me?" Konata said repeating what I said...seriously! Your life just changes over night! And you want to go to school?

"What...we have school today...and I don't think they'll take the excuse 'sorry I discovered that I was glowing this morning after being rescued from a monster by my best friend in a giant robot!" Kagami pointed out dryly as she pushed her friend to the door...

"Well they should! You should totally get out on a glowing technicality..." Konata responded as she huffed and folded her arms... yeah I agree!

"Yeah...no..." She responded as she fully pushed her out the door and then shut it in her face...geez I bet the world could be ending and she'd still be going to school! Seriously!

Wait...Oh awesome! A Kagami clothes changing scene! I can't wait to go into great detail of how she slowly takes off her pajamas and then unsnaps her-'No! You dare describe anything you'll be wishing you were describing a medical book to fix your injuries!' ...darn it! Alright...so after a changing sequence Kagami left her room in her school uniform and saw that Konata was right outside wearing her casual clothes from last night...

"Why are you doing? Shouldn't you be in your uniform as well?" Kagami pointed out as she slung the bag over her shoulder...why couldn't get a fun and more laid back main character?

"Well sorry after I got my abilities and came over here to tell I wasn't thinking 'Oh gee I should totally bring along my school uniform for tomorrow!'" Konata pointed out annoyed as it was clear Kagami wasn't thinking through thoroughly...

"Oh would you rather be killed by that monster Kagami? What's more important your life or my uniform!?" Konata asked almost enraged as she was finding it hard to believe that Kagami was being trivial over her uniform at a time like this!

"Y-You're right...I'm sorry..." Kagami immediately apologized as she realized how cruel she was being...going to school...who does she think she is? A high school student!?

"It's just...why is this happening to us...are we bad people are something..." Kagami then said sadly as she looked down...a tear starting to form in her eye...a dark blue sad aura starting to form around her lightly...

"Kagami...you're starting to glow again..." Konata informed as she pointed to her...I think I like the light red more than the dark blue to be honest...the light red is cuter...

"See exactly! Why me! Why do I deserve something like this!?" Kagami then shouted as tears started to fall down her face...the dark blue aura now very strong and apparent now...

"Kagami..." Konata again said softly as she looked at her with a smile, "It's ok...I'm glad I'm together with you...because I know we can get through this...ok?" Konata reassured as she put a hand on her shoulder...which made Kagami look back up at her...and she smiled back...as the aura changed from dark blue to pink...

"Kagami...you're cuteness is showing..." Konata teased as she enjoyed seeing her best friend enveloped by a pink glow...heh...guess what pink represents...

"Sh-Shut up!" She shouted as the aura changed from pink to red...which caused Konata to start laughing...

"Man...it was hard for you to hide your emotions before...now it's just impossible...you might as well be wearing big neon signs that say 'This is how I'm feeling right now!'" Konata said teasingly as she put a hand in front of her mouth to try and conceal her giggling...

"Sh-Shut up! This isn't funny! What happens if I just start randomly glowing at like school or something!? What are you going to do if I get locked up because I'm a freak huh?" Kagami pointed out angrily as she held up a finger...trying to fight the blush on her face...which just made her glow brighter...although unfortunately she made a point to Konata...randomly glowing in public...would be pretty bad...

"Yeah Yeah I guess your right...ok ok just calm down Kagami and it should go away..." Konata agreed as she nodded at Kagami...darn I like the rainbow Kagami...

"I'm trying! But it's not working!" Kagami said as she looked at her glowing hands with the bright red aura flowing off it...off of it...which to her surprise made Konata sigh...

"But it worked earlier..." Konata said a little confused as she titled her heads slightly...yeah we all know what's going to happen right?

"I know but it's not working this time!" Kagami said now a little frantic again as she looked back and forth...hoping her family wasn't going to walk in and see her like this...

"Alright Alright...take my hands again..." Konata said with a sigh as she held out her hands, to which Kagami instantly took and squeezed, "Geez...desperate much Kagami?" Konata teased with a smile...

"Shut up! let's just get this over with ok!" Kagami shouted as she closed her eyes...Konata wanted to laugh because it's not every day that her best friend says that...but unfortunately she knew that Kagami was right and that if she said anything it would only make matters worse...so she closed her eyes as well...and like before the glowing stopped...although they still don't fully understand what's going on of course...do you?

"Did it stop?" Kagami asked her eyes still closed...too afraid to open them just to find out she was still glowing...which made Konata open her eyes to confirm that she wasn't glowing anymore...

"Yes...you're fine again Kagami...and I think it's cute how you need me to solve your adorable problem..." Konata teased with a giggle as she let go of her hands...

"H-Hey watch it or else it's going to happen again!" Kagami warned with a stutter as it pained her so much to admit this...awww poor little Tsundere is going to have to learn to control her emotions...that's going to be hard! 'You're just going to make it worse so shut up!' Right right I know...

"Sorry Kagami...I guess I should watch myself more..." Konata reluctantly said...she knew it was going to be hard to control her teasing...especially in front of her lovable Tsundere... 'Geez why is that I can hear you and she can't? Are you a part of this problem too?' Nope only you...and no I'm just the friendly narrator...'Whatever...'

"Maybe this isn't completely bad after all..." Kagami teased as she smirked at Konata...which made Konata groan a little...geez now you're just being cruel Kagami!

"Although I still don't know why you were chosen to my protector or whatever...or why this is all happening on my birthday for that matter...why me...is this happening to Tsukasa as...Tsukasa!" Kagami started before suddenly remembering her twin sister and how she might be going through the same thing she is...

As soon as she did turned and practically ran to her room...Konata following her close behind...after all she can't be too far away from the person she's protecting now can she? When she reached her room she almost barged in screaming in fear over what horrible thing has befallen upon her twin sister...but she restrained herself at the last second because what if nothing was wrong...and that she was causing problems for her poor sick sister...so in the end she just lightly knocked on her door...

"Come in..." A small weak voice behind the door called, which prompted Kagami and Konata to enter her room to find a still sick Tsukasa lying in her bed...

"H-Hey Tsukasa..." Kagami greeted a little nervous as she raised her hand to wave her twin sister...

"Hey Onee-chan...Happy Birthday..." Tsukasa greeted happily as she slowly sat up in her bed, "I'm sorry to say that I'm not feeling too much better today..." She then informed as Kagami and Konata walked up to her bed...

"Oh and I see Konata is already here...that's unusual for her..." Tsukasa pointed out as she finally noticed that Konata was also here aside from her sister...

"Yeah I came all this way to be the first to wish you both a Happy Birthday..." Konata lied as she gave her a thumbs up and winked at her...which made Tsukasa smile...

"How sweet...thank you Kona-chan..." Tsukasa thanked generously as she nodded to her...which made Kagami a bit more relieved since Tsukasa still seemed like her usual self...but she still had to ask just to be sure...

"Hey...Tsukasa..." Kagami called which instantly got her sister's attention..."Do you feel any...different..." She then asked curiously...not sure how to put it or phrase it...

"No not really...I don't really feel a year older to be honest...I still feel like myself..." Tsukasa replied innocently as she titled her head...which made Kagami even more relieved since she didn't know what she was talking about...but...she still had to press it just in case...

"No I mean...do you feel any different...like...special...or ummm...weird..." Kagami continued...being completely cryptic and not just asking her directly like she should 'Hey! You try asking your sister...or anyone for that matter if they found themselves glowing, being attacked by giant robots, or being safe guarded by a midget!' Hey be nicer to your protector...without her you'd be dead already... 'Shut up it's still a stupid and crazy situation to be put in!' Yeah I guess so...but still...whatever...

"Onee-chan...is something wrong?" Tsukasa asked curiously as she knew her sister would never ask these kinds of weird questions...which then made Kagami sure that she had no idea what was going on...and then fearful as to what might happen if she told her exactly what was going on...

"N-No it's nothing...just worried that you're still sick is all..." Kagami lied rubbing the back of head...which got a curious look from Konata...but then Konata realized something...

"Oh wait I have a problem...I know it's kind of rude for me to ask...and that it's your birthday...but can I use your school uniform...I left mine at home before I got here..." Konata asked trying to look as innocent as possible...which kind of pissed off Kagami that she was asking her sister to use her clothes but what can she do...tell her why she doesn't really have them...

"Oh...s-sure Kona-chan...they're on a hanger in my closet...though I don't think my size will fit you very well..." Tsukasa agreed before warning her about the fact that her clothes might be a little too big for her...

"Don't worry I'll make due..." Konata said cheerfully as she went to her closet and got out the uniform, "Oh and thanks for letting me use it...I promise you I'll get you a super special present for your birthday today..." Konata thanked and then promised as she turned around to smile at Tsukasa...which made Kagami groan...

'She's doing the same thing she did yesterday...making promises at the last minute to get something at the last minute...our lives change sporadically and we're thrown into this horrible situation...and she's still the same as ever...I should've expected nothing less from Konata I guess...' Kagami remarked in her mind as Konata left to go change into Tsukasa's uniform...hey that's just one of the reasons why you-'SHUT IT!'

"Geez sorry about this Tsukasa...I'll make it up to you because I know Konata won't..." Kagami apologized as she stood up and went to the door to leave...man a bad attitude, making fun of your protector, and going to school when really you should be gearing up for a climactic battle? You really are a boring character! 'I said shut it! I'm not here just to entertain you!'

"Onee-chan..." Tsukasa called as she extended her hand towards her older sister...which made Kagami stop at the door and turn around to look at her, "Take care at school today...and try to enjoy yourself twice as much on my behalf..." Tsukasa asked as she waved to her goodbye...which made Kagami smile back...

"I will...and happy birthday Tsukasa..." Kagami responded cheerfully looking at her little sister as she opened the door and started to leave, thankful she has such a nice one and also thankful she's not wrapped up in the same mess as her.

"Thank you Onee-chan..." She thanked right before Kagami closed the door behind her leaving Tsukasa in her room...

"Hey Kagami..." Kagami then heard someone call as soon as she started to head down the hallway...when she turned around she saw Matsuri walking up to her...

"Oh...Hey..." Kagami called back, a little surprised as Matsuri never really calls...so her sister calling out to her is a little shocking to her...huh?

"First off Happy Birthday to you..." Matsuri said as soon as she walked up to her...being polite as she wished her a Happy Birthday...

"Oh...thank you..." Kagami thanked sincerely...not completely convinced that giving her a happy birthday was the only reason she came up here...

"Oh Dad wanted me to tell you something..." Matsuri then said...confirming Kagami's suspicion that she had an ulterior motive...geez suspicious of your own siblings...man, lighten up Kagami...'Shut up!'

"Oh really...what is it..." Kagami asked curious as to what her father wanted Matsuri to tell her...

"You know...I can't remember now..." Matsuri admitted as she rubbed the back of her head feeling a little bad about forgetting...

"Well that's just great!" Kagami said a bit angrily but honestly not surprised... 'Geez typical careless older sister...why couldn't our eldest sister tell me, mom, or better yet dad himself?' Kagami questioned in her mind...

"Yeah and it was really important...he told me to tell you something yesterday before he left for the shrine...he's been there all night..." Matsuri then revealed as she looked up as if recalling the events of last night...oh boy...foreshadowing! We can't have a story without that can we?

"R-Really?" Kagami asked surprised...as normally her father would never go to the shrine at night...and especially wouldn't be there all night for something...

"Yeah I wonder what it was he wanted me to tell you..." Matsuri added as she put a hand to her chin...as if trying to remember one last time, "oh well...I'm sure it was nothing...enjoy your birthday sis!" She then shrugged off before waving goodbye and leaving her sister behind...don't you just love clichéd scenes like this? What Science Fiction Fantasy story would be complete without them?

"Dad...was at the shrine...could he...no...it's just a huge coincidence...besides it sounded like he wanted to talk to me about sex...not something like this!" Kagami said softly to herself...before dismissing it completely... 'To be honest I think I would rather have him talk to me about something this stupid than something that awkward and uncomfortable...' ...wow Kagami...I don't even know what to say about that thought... 'Shut up! You're not allowed to shove creepy thoughts in my mind and your also not allowed to weigh in on my thoughts...so just keep everything to yourself!' Geez maybe I should resign from my narrator job and move to train savage lions...because at least they can actually be tamed unlike this girl 'You little-!'

"Alright Kagami...I'm kind of ready..." Konata called as walked down the hallway wearing Tsukasa's uniform...which upon seeing that sight made Kagami burst out into laughter

"Are you trying to make me laugh and elicit some kind of glow out of me or do you always look that ridiculous?" Kagami teased slightly as she tried to contain herself the best she could...doing her best from letting her emotions going out of control again so she doesn't glow...

"Hey shut up! I may have overestimated Tsukasa's size a little...seriously the skirt can barely keep from falling down from my waist and my blouse feels so loose I think I might slip through the neck opening!" Konata complained as she held her skirt with one hand and kept her blouse up with the other...which makes me feel bad for the poor girl because I know exactly what's it like to be small and wear something that makes you feel even smaller!

"You look like a grade school student dressing in their older sister's high school uniform!" Kagami insulted still trying to reframe from laughing...of course...insult the little people...how very like you Kagami!

"Man! I save you from a giant monster just to be ridiculed by the girl I saved? How is that justice?" Konata pointed out with a huff as she wanted to fold her arms...but couldn't as she still wasn't one hundred percent sure her clothes wouldn't just fall off her at a moment's notice...poor girl...

"You're right I'm sorry I'm sorry..." Kagami apologized now feeling a little bad...and being a little thankful for Konata bringing her down because another second and she was sure she would radiate some weird bright color...yeah serves you right Kagami!

"It's just...I can barely look at you like that...you're like an cute little kid and I just can't get enough of it..." Kagami then said a little softer feeling a little embarrassed for saying that but she had to let something slip or else she was sure we light up like the sun...

"Do we really need to go to school? I mean really?" Konata responded feeling insulted rather than complimented...and once again making that very good astute point...

"Yes we do...I can't miss a day...not for anything...and besides I want to check out the library to see if they have anything about this mess we're in..." Kagami then said seriously suddenly shifting gears...geez I think there's such a thing as being too serious with school...and Kagami takes that overboard as well!

"I doubt they'll have anything useful..." Konata pointed out as she held up a finger...yeah another good point...so how about they just never go to school again? That will make the story ten times better!

"You barely read anything from the library so how would you know..." The twin haired girl retorted dryly as she narrowed her eyes at her...which make Konata sigh in response...

"Ok fine...I get it...just let me come with you so I can protect you...I mean it's my job after all..." Konata advised as she moved a little closer to her...wanting to be a little bit closer to her...

"The last time we went to the library together it was a nightmare...so no you can't come along..." The angry girl denied with a drier tone as she raised her hand...as if stopping her dead in her tracks...

"But what if a giant monster starts to attack and I'm not there to protect you?" The fearful Otaku added trying to illustrate the point of how important it is for her to be near her...

"It's not like we'll be on opposite sides of the country...and if a monster does attack we'll probably know a lot sooner ahead of time since it's in a populated school..." Kagami pointed out not being drier and finally understanding why Konata was determined to go along with her...but still not letting her for some reason...

"A-Alright...just...take care of yourself Kagami..." Konata replied a little softer giving up on trying to convince her and letting her do it alone...

"I will...don't worry Konata..." Kagami said reassuringly...hoping that would put her fears at ease...

"I'm always worried about you...even before this happen I was always concerned for you..." Konata said even softer than before...in almost a whisper that the taller girl almost missed it...but the point is she still heard it...

"W-What did you say?" Kagami asked not sure if what she heard was real or not...wanting her to repeat it either way...

"N-Nothing...let's just go..." Konata shrugged off as she turned around and started to...Kagami watching her go for a few seconds before slowly following her...

They then left home and started their trek to school and...you know what...I'm just going to skip to the end...this whole section seems boring and the less about school the better...hmmm...ok where to start back up...hmmm...uhhh...geez there's like eight pages of school crap? Who wrote this damn thing? A Sadist!? Seriously! Ok finally here we go!

Kagami entered the library after she finished her lunch. It was thankfully empty so she wouldn't have any weird pair of eyes looking at her or a librarian asking her questions. So she leisurely strolled around the library looking for anything even remotely relating to her problem. She had a hard time since...well her problem is...let's just say 'Unique'...and that all of it is 'Unique' ...ahem...anyways...eventually she found a book on 'Bizarre Unheard of Mysteries' that normally she wouldn't go anywhere near...but now her situation was so strange that she was desperate for anything...

She took the book to a nearby desk and opened it up to commence reading. Unfortunately for her she wasn't really finding anything to even remotely help her. It was just some strange book about strange creatures she didn't know or care about...not even relating to her...she sighed as she closed the book...then she noticed someone standing in front of her...who seemed to come out of nowhere because Kagami was sure no one else was in the library at the time...but maybe she just didn't notice anyone walk in...and the person who was standing in front of her was a fellow classmate and a long time friend Misao...you might know her from the previous chapter...just throwing that out there...

"Oh hey Misao...I didn't see you at school all day...I thought you were sick or something..." Kagami greeted as she pointed out how she didn't see her all day...oh I guess that's one of the details I missed...yeah uhhh Misao wasn't at school all day...so...yeah...

"No I was just waiting for the right moment to kill you..." Misao cheerfully responded with a smile as her fang was clearly exposed on the side of her mouth...which instantly made Kagami do a double take at her...

"What?" The confused lavender haired girl responded as she looked at her like Misao just told a funny joke...though that thought was ruined when Misao seemed to pull a mace with spikes on the end from out of nowhere and swing it at her...smashing the desk in half with Kagami barely jumping out the way...

"M-Misao...wh-what are you doing?" The frightened and confused girl shouted as she did her best to not fall down from dodging that attack...

"Trying to kill you! Geez I thought it would be blatantly obvious!" The brunette happily replied as she swung the mace again...and again missing as Kagami ran and leaned against one of the bookshelves...

"K-Kill me...w-why?" The now terrorized Kagami said as she trembled in fear at what was going on in front of her...geez if it were me I'd start hitting her by now...although that's probably because I'm not too fond of her...

"Because it's my duty obvious...you have your as the Sacred Shrine Maiden...and I have mine as one of the bad guys!" Misao cheekily responded as her mace changed into a flail as she slung it around...cutting many book shelves in half and the oh so valuable books within them as well...however Kagami ducked to avoided the attack...

"S...Sacred Shrine Maiden? But it's just a thing I do for my family at our local shrine!" Kagami shouted frantically as she was on the ground now covered in shredded pieces of paper...

"Geez nobody told you anything did they...and they said you were going to be dangerous...killing you is going to be so boring...but at least I'll finally be recognized as a essential element in our order!" She answered as she licked her fang and flung the flail at her again, but missed due to Kagami rolling out of the way...

"You...You can't be serious...M-Misao..." Kagami said in a stutter not understanding what was going on as she slowly started to crawl away from her...

"I've never been more serious in my entire life! I'm going to kill you right now and prove to the others how vital I am!" Misao confidently said as she retracted her fail back to her side...Kagami looking at her still in shock and horror...

"Oh...and by the way...Happy Birthday Hiiragi!" She said with a smug grin on her face as she started spinning around her flail once again...seemingly having our heroine in her clutches...

And I'm going to stop here because it's the perfect cliff hanger to end on...but like I said there's no way the characters will die this early...I mean that would just be a waste of a story if it were to end at the second chapter...so wait until next time to see how Misao gets her ass handed to her by...oh who am I kidding...Konata of course! And also look forward to more weird symbolic glowing and giant robot carnage! And most off all look forward to me narrating it! So until next time!

See ya!

**Author's Crap/Explanations**

Well that was terrible...but like I said it's suppose to be terrible...and as stated at the start this is to celebrate 100 reviews...a bad way to celebrate right? I know...but anyways...originally I wanted to do my first ever request...but dropped that idea on the grounds that I suck and decided to pick this up since people requested me to continue it anyways...but I didn't at first because I didn't have the time or energy to do 4 stories at once...so this was a special occasion...however I'm going to announce that this won't be the end for this little crappy story...no I'm announcing right here that after Chapter 18 of the Spinoff story that both that story and the Main story will go on temporary Hiatus so I can be free to do other things...the Pageant story will still be every Monday but I'll be doing 2 new stories in the place of those Hiatus stories...one of them is this and one of them is a new story...so look forward to that if that ever possibly happens...which I honestly doubt because I'm crazy...

Anyways let's talk about the actually crappy story in question...first off the glowing is ripped off from somewhere and not just Kannazuki no Miko...don't know where though but I'm sure I'm ripping something off...and is a bit too obvious to what it means...it's even joked about in story...and it's a bit over done as it happens twice within the course of this chapter...I should've saved the second on for later but oh well it's nothing a bit of NOT creativity can fix in the future...I guess...and the biggest problem of all involving it is that it's hell-a sporadic...what talking to Konata makes you glow pink but a life threatening attack from one of your friends doesn't? What the hell...The Yuri is a bit TOO overplayed in this chapter to be honest...especially with the glowing which I'm sure will get annoying by the 5th Chapter...but since the original story's Yuri was overplayed I don't really mind...but the biggest problem for me is...say it with me...NO MECHA...WHERE'S MY GIANT ROBOT ACTION? DAMN YOU! oh well...Robot Carnage next time I guess...

Matsuri gets her first ever official debut in my "Characters I'm ruining list" if you discount that deleted scene I did with her in a Special a while ago...and Tsukasa gets a scene for awhile...Kagami's dad is nowhere to be scene and originally I wanted this to be the exposition Chapter that explains everything but I pushed that back a bit to try and be a little mysterious for awhile...which fails horribly but oh well...also as a side note...since this is my first 3rd person story I tend to just use "Kagami/Konata said/responded/whatever" and only later did I realize did that gets repetitive so the later section mixes it up a bit with stuff like "Terrified Twin Tailed Girl' and other stuff...I went back a little bit to do stuff like that but was too lazy to go 100% through with it...so I learned this chapter thankfully to not be repetitive so next chapters should HOPEFULLY not be as a bad...HOPEFULLY...doubt it will work though especially since I'm not coming back to this for a good 2 weeks...if at all!

So when is Chapter 3 coming...hmmm don't really know...I have to write Chapter 18 of the Spinoff first and then I'm going to write 2 Chapters of the New story so I can have them run parallel to each other...and of course the Pageant story is still going on...so it maybe a while...in case I'm sure it will be absolutely terrible...

Until then I am the god awful writer and the ruin-er of the very franchises I love Dalek Saxon...SAYONARA!


	3. Chapter 3

What the? Where the hell did this come from? What foul unholy hell did you pull this crap from Dalek Saxon! Where! Tell me so I can destroy it and stop this never ending flow of pure terror on the poor innocents of the world! ...Well to answer your...oddly disturbing question...it comes from my deluded mind and insanity...if you want me to stop you have to put me out of my misery and everyone else's misery...deal? Deal!

Anyways until this deal is complete here is Chapter 3 of the Mecha parody story...wait wasn't I suppose to do Chapter 13 of the Pageant story? Ehhh I'll explain later in the post notes...until then...here's this crap!

**Chapter 3: The Battle with Imperious, the First Nocturne!/A Wild Chapter Appears!**

Oh! You're back! Hold on, let me put this book down in my lap. Well, I'm happy to see you're back...but...I have a slight problem. It's just...heh...ummmm...I...I kind of lost the book. D-Don't worry though! I've got an even better tale to tell you! Let me just...ummm...ughh...Hold on let me check my shelf right next to me! ... ... ... ... Ah! Here we go! Battle for an Otaku...that'll be good right? Ummm on second thought...I don't think it will. Damn it...I wish I remember where I put that book!

Where could it be? It's not on my shelf. It's not on my desk. Maybe it's in the other room. Hold on; let me get up and-Oh! It's in my lap! I was already holding it and put it down! Heh...opps. Ahem...A-Anyways. Back to where we left off. Ummm, Misao had Kagami cornered in the library as she swung her flail around in circles.

"Don't take it personal, I don't actually hate you or anything, it's just my job!" The arrogant girl said with a smirk. Spinning her flail faster and faster as the frightened lavender haired girl tried to back away.

"T-Then how about quitting or taking a five minute break! Please Misao you don't have to do this!" The terrified Tsundere pleaded as she backed up to the bookcase behind her with no place to run. Oh Kagami, pleading won't get you anywhere. You know this as well as I do so why did you even bother trying?

"Sorry, I just have to do this. I hope you can forgive me for this!" She answered as she shook her head no, giving Kagami no hope of life or escaping.

Why is it when people are trying to kill other people they usually say 'Please forgive me for this.' or 'I hope you don't hold it against me.' or stuff like that. You're going to kill them! Why would you forgive them? Anyways, Kagami turned her head and shut her eyes. Bracing herself for the inevitable as Misao swung her flail towards her. However, much to Kagami's surprise, she heard a clanging noise and a smashing noise right next to her head. Start placing bets now, who do you think saved the helpless girl?

Kagami opened her eyes and found the spiked ball directly in front her face imbedded into the bookcase right next to her. She looked forward and saw a completely surprised Misao who was stunned to see her attack had failed. Then something fell down on the ground in between them. When they both looked down they saw a small dagger bounce off the ground and then fall flat on the floor. Someone had thrown a dagger at the precise moment to veer the flail off course. But who could've-pfff yeah we all know who it was...but anyways...Kagami looked to the entrance and saw her one and only Protector Konata standing the doorway with her arm forward after throwing the dagger.

"Konata!" Kagami shouted in both surprise and relief as she smiled at her protector. Happy that the one girl she cares most about is here to be with her 'G-Geez! Don't put it like that you creepy narrator a-and I-I'm not smiling!' ...yeah...sure you aren't...and you're also not glowing pink right now... 'W-Wait...W-What? ...Damn it I am! Why now!?'

"I told you I should've come with you Kagami..." Konata said smugly with a smirk in response to Kagami's outburst. Which made Kagami blush slightly to the fact that her clever friend was right. 'S-Seriously! Stop making Konata out to be some kind of deity that could do no wrong! And quit making up lies about me! I-I'm not blushing!' ...uh huh...sure you're not...and like I said you're also not glowing pink! 'Sh-Shut up!'

"Chibikko!? It's you!? That's who Hiiragi chose to be her protector?" The tan girl reacted in surprise as she tugged at her flail and got it off the wall. Then smiling slightly as she recalled it back to her side.

"I get it. I always knew there was something going on between you two!" She teased with a slight tease as she looked at Kagami with a devious look on her face. Geez even Misao knows it; it really is obvious isn't it?

"N-N-No! There was never anything funny going on between us! Things just started happening between us recently!" Kagami replied desperately trying to convince the other girl otherwise. Though honestly she's trying to convince herself of this lie rather than Misao. 'Just shut up already! You're not helping!'

"Oh is that so then?" Misao then teasingly said as she put a hand in front of her mouth to hide her giggling. Which made Kagami's blush deepen as she realized what she just said. The aura around her now turning red to mach her blush to help illustrate that. Oh Kagami your body is now betraying you in so many ways. 'F-For the last time! Sh-Shut up!'

"It doesn't matter though!" She then said seriously as she lowered her hand and changed her expression to one of anger. "I don't care who your protector is! I'll defeat them and-" Misao tried to continue but was cut off when Konata threw another dagger at her. She moved out of the way easily and then looked at Konata annoyed and frustrated.

"Hey at least let me finish my sentence before you do anything! And where did you get those damn daggers in the first place!" Misao asked in a high pitched annoyed voice as she waved her arms up and down acting like a little kid. The weapon in her hand flailing about making holes in the floor.

"The same place you get your weapons Misa-kichi!" The blue haired protector said as she lowered her throwing hand and another dagger appeared down from her sleeve.

"...Seiyu?" Misao replied plainly, blinking a few times. 'Since when does Seiyu sell flails?' ...yeah my thoughts exactly!

"No! The...The place where we can magically get weapons and things!" The otaku tried to correct as she struggled to come up with something before giving up and holding the dagger between the tips of her index fingers.

"You don't even know what it's called!" Misao shouted as she pointed at her with her free hand, seeming to mock the poor girl about something no one told her about yet.

"Well you called it Seiyu so you don't know either!" Konata then pointed out as she counterattacked, also pointing to her with one her hands while the other one held the dagger.

"I do know! It's just...I'm not allowed to access that realm yet since I'm the lowest member of the nocturne!" Misao tried to retaliate but remembered her position and instead just turned around, looking a little embarrassed for admitting her rank.

"Then don't chew me out for something you can't do yet because you suck!" Konata insulted with a laugh as smiled victoriously at her as if winning the fight. When did this action packed soon to be sword fight turn into a vocal argument?

"You've got to be kidding me!' Kagami said dryly with a sigh as she stood up from where she was standing and went to the bale behind Misao. H-Hey Kagami! What are you doing! You're supposed to be on the ground helpless as these two fight!

"Excuse me! I have you both on the ropes and I-! Misao tried to respond before being cut off from being hit from behind buy Kagami with a chair she picked up from the table. She hit her with the chair with such force that the wooden chair shattered into pieces. G-Geez Kagami! You hit her with a chair! That's a little vicious for a story like this!

"There, that was easy..." She said bitterly and dryly as she threw down the pieces of chair she was holding in her hand. The glow changing from red to black. H-Hey! Don't ignore me Kagami! Kagami!

"Wow! You don't mess around do you Kagami?" Konata commented as she backed up a little scratching the side of her face. Yeah no kidding! Remind me not to get into a fight with her! Geez!

"You two were just standing there yelling at each other. I had to do something!" Kagami replied with a disgruntled sigh as she fixed her hair and swept it back. Sounding very annoyed and honestly a little terrifying. Couldn't we get a less scary main character please?

"Y-You hit me! With a chair!" Misao struggled to say as she looked up from the ground. Looking surprised and horrified... obviously not expecting Kagami to that!

"You attacked me with a flail! If you didn't want that you shouldn't have attacked me!" Kagami responded angry as she walked over to the table again. Oh please tell me she's not going to get another chair to hit her with!

"Y-You're the Sacred Shrine Maiden! You're not supposed to attack people! Especially with chairs!" Misao pointed out sweating a little uncomfortable as she tried to stand up from her spot. Yeah really! Shouldn't she be graceful and kind...well she wasn't really like that to begin with but still!

"What so I'm supposed to play the helpless girl always in need of her champion? Yeah...no thank you!" Kagami answered dryly as she picked up another chair from the table. Geez Kagami! You just want to go against this story any way you can don't you? Fine do whatever you want!

"Damn you...I didn't want it to come to this but it looks like I have no choice!" Misao then said as she finally stood up and seemed to recover from that blow earlier as Kagami started walk back over to her. Geez she's not even rushing or anything! She's acting like a serial killer now! Scary! Especially with that black aura all around her! 'Oh would you just stop it already!'

"Imperious!" Misao shouted at the top of her lungs as Kagami raised the chair above her head to hit her again. However, after she shouted that the ground shook violently, causing Kagami to lose her grip on the chair and causing it to fall behind her. Then she lost her balance and fell on the ground as well.

"Kagami!" Konata shouted as she rushed over to her fall maiden and bent down to help her up. The ground still shaking and books falling off of what was left of the bookshelves. "We have to go!" She then shouted after she helped Kagami up, then starting to lead her to the exit.

"Wh-What the hell is going on!?" The frightened Tsundere asked as she let herself be led by the shorter girl. Her aura changing from black to yellow. Wow what happened that fire you had earlier? Huh? 'Shut up! I can deal with an insane Misao! I can't deal with a spontaneous earthquake coming out of nowhere!' ...fair enough.

"Misao is calling in her Kanabō!" Konata shouted as she dragged her out of the library. Leading Kagami away from the danger as Misao stood in the middle of the library alone.

"W-Wait what? Isn't that some kind of weapon used by demons or whatever?" Kagami replied confused as they ran down the halls. Oh, what a surprise. Kagami knows some ancient Japanese stuff. 'We're Japanese in case you forgot and we there's something called a history class that I'm sure you slept through.' H-How rude Kagami!

"No! It's her Servant Mecha!" Konata denied and then explained as they kept running. Oh yeah, let me explain...uhhh this book was originally meant to be a swords and shield kind of thing...but since that was boring and I changed it to a giant robot thing. They...uhh kind of still have to have the names of the original stuff...so the robots are called the Kanabō and the servants of Nocturne are technically Oni...yeah sorry for the mix up. 'Geez why couldn't you stick to the original story and not change everything!' It makes things more interesting and fun! '...at the cost of common sense and respect for the original works' Oh who cares! So let's move on now shall we?

"You've got to be freaking kidding me! Where does someone like her get a giant robot?" Kagami asked frustrated and bemused not knowing what's going on. 'Like the majority of the people you're reading this to since you've changed so much!' H-Hey they'll figure it out eventually!

They continued running away as fast as they could in no particular direction. The whole school was shaking which caused some commotion in the classes as people walked out wondering what was going on. In the library things were the most hectic as it looked like a typhoon hit. Tables, chairs, and bookshelves destroyed and scattered about. Misao smiling victoriously as she walked towards the window. However she stopped when she heard the door open from behind her.

"What in god's name is going on in my precious library?" An old lady with glasses screamed as she looked around the library. Only to see the destruction and the carnage that was caused not but two minutes ago.

Then she saw Misao who was looking back her grinned brightly. The person who I would assume to be library looked like she was going to snap and yell at Misao. However she stopped when she saw a big loaming figure outside the windows. Then a giant fist smashed through the windows next to Misao and made a big hole in the building. Then the fist pulled itself out of the building and then uncurled itself so Misao could jump in the palm.

"On second thought, I think I might take an early retirement..." The librarian said a bit frantically as she turned around and left her library as fast as she could. Well if I saw what she saw in my library...I'd run like hell too!

Konata stopped in the halls and looked outside at the giant figure standing up. The figure looked very thin and had pointy head big eyes and no mouth or nose. It had very thin arms and thick legs which looked awkward on the slender body and head. The elbows seemed to be two huge spiked balls. Konata knew they weren't going to escape from that thing and let go of Kagami's hand and turned to look at her.

"Kagami...I have...I have to-"

"No! Don't you dare say it!" Kagami retorted before the smaller girl could reply, knowing full well what she was going to say.

"You know I have to, I'm the only one who can go against thing...we won't survive unless I go." Konata replied sweetly and with a smile, hoping to comfort the taller girl. So she can do out and do what we all came here to see...kick the crap out of Misao!

"But...you just can't...what if something...you know...happen to you..." Kagami asked in fear as the aura around her changed from yellow to orange as she looked down.

"I'll be fine...besides its Misao! What can she possibly do?" Konata joked with a slightly laugh as she pointed to the giant robot behind her. Which made Kagami slightly laugh as well because she knew she was right. 'I-I didn't laugh! I just slightly nodded in agreement!' ...whatever Kagami.

"Yeah you've got a point. Fine whatever go deal with her. It's not like I'm that concerned or anything. I just thought it would be embarrassing if you were killed by someone like her...that's all." The Tsundere responded in a very typical Tsundere tone giving a very typical Tsundere response to this kind of question...how very Tsundere of you Kagmai! 'Do not call me that! Especially when you say it four times in a row!'

"Oh Kagami...Tsundere no matter what!" Konata teased coming to the exact same conclusion as me. 'You're both deluded beyond belief and you're both pissing me off!"

"Oh shut up not you too!" Kagami replied in a shout as she blushed, the aura around her turning bright red to match that cute blush of hers. Feeling more embarrassed since Konata doesn't know that there's a little voice narrating everything she does! 'D-Don't point out the obvious!'

"Hey we're just calling you by what you are Kagami...you no one else to blame but yourself." Konata teasingly said as she turned around and opened the window right in front of her.

"I hope Misao wipes the floor with you!" Kagami said feeling more embarrassed than ever. Of course she didn't mean it at all...she's just being a little Tsundere right now! 'For the millionth time! Shut up! I don't need your commentary! If you don't shut up I'm going to check myself into the nearest mental institution!' Fine, fine...alright geez.

"Kagami...just stay safe alright." Konata simply said before jumping out the window. Kagami rushed to the window to see her falling down to the ground. Then her shadow on the ground grew immensely before taking up the entire ground. Then with a flash something gigantic flew out of the shadow and scooped up Konata.

The figure continued going up and rose above the school. Kagami looked up to see the figure take shape and change into the giant machine she saw yesterday, complete with the same rifle as well. The machine landed in front of the school with a tremendous thud which sent a shockwave out which broke most of the windows and sent Kagami tumbling to the floor.

"Damn it Konata! Ever heard of a gentle landing?" Kagami shouted angrily as she stood up, wiping the glass shards off of her. Thankfully she wasn't hurt but her color did change from orange to dark red.

"Sorry Kagami, I can't really control my entrance or anything...I think." Konata apologized as she moved the machine away from the building so Kagami wouldn't get hurt and be away from the battle.

"Oh so there's the all mighty protector and her machine. It's good to see the Kusanagi seems to be in perfect working condition." Misao commented happily as the spiked balls on the machine elbows dropped to reveal that they were attacked to chains that went into the elbows. Misao started to laugh as her mech grabbed the chains and started to swing the spiked balls around.

"But now I get to truly prove myself to the-AHH!" Misao went on before dropping the chains to her spiked balls and recoiling in horror to the sight of Konata pointing her gun at Misao. Konata held that pose for a second before moving her rifle to the side and looking.

"What the hell!? It's not working! Does this gun use cheap batteries or do I need to plug it into a charger?" Konata shouted as she started to smack the gun with her other hand. Kagami did a slight face palm at what she saw while Misao recovered slightly after finding out she wasn't going to be shot at.

"Y-You were going to shoot me!" Misao said angrily as she pointed to Konata like a grade school student calling foul on another person. Which made Kagami sigh at the sight. 'Great...they're just arguing again and me with no chair.'

"Huh? Of course! You're the enemy right? Why can't I just shoot you?" Konata responded as if it was plain at day, tilting the robot's head as if confused. Yeah that makes sense...if you're in front of an enemy you just shoot them!

"That's not the point! You're supposed to be the hero here!" Misao declared as she pointed to Konata who seemed uninterested in what she was saying. "Shouldn't you be dignified, respectful and not-AHH!" The tan girl then tried to explain before getting cut off by Konata's rifle smacking against her head and bouncing off her mech.

"Got you!" Konata triumphantly declared as she held up a fist in glee. The gun landing a batch of trees far behind Misao's machine.

"You threw your gun at me!" The hurt girl yelled even louder as she rubbed the spot where the gun landed where an obvious dent in the head was at. Now you're just stating the obvious Misao.

"...umm...yeah if it I can't fire it I might as well use it as a throwing weapon!" Konata responded again making it sound plain as day as she titled her head again. Yeah use what you have and use it to the best of your ability! If you can't fire your gun then throw it! It's pretty heavy and should do some damage! I'm with you girl!

"You...You...You have no grace! You don't deserve to call yourself a protector!" Misao angrily declared as she regained her composure and grabbed the chains to her spiked balls again. Spinning them around violently and then swinging one of them at Konata's mech.

"Oh crap!" Konata screamed as she jumped out of the way barely missing the spiked ball that hit in the place she used to be.

"Konata! Do something!" Kagami urged as she went to the window, screaming for her friend to try and counterattack.

"Easier said than done Kagami!" Konata retorted as she dodged the other spiked ball swing. This one hitting the gymnasium.

'Damn it! Doesn't that thing have any other weapons besides and empty rifle? What kind of machine only has a gun with one shot! There has to be more it! Konata just doesn't know what the hell she's doing! Oh who am I kidding! I don't know what I'm doing either! I just wish for this all to be some kind of messed up dream!' Kagami thought frantically as she watched Konata dodge another attack, this one hitting the library they used to be in.

However unlike before where Misao would recall her spiked weapons and then start spinning them again for another attack. This time she just slung the chain towards Konata, dragging the ball through the library and through the halls destroying everything in its path in a desperate attempt to get Konata. It was a vain attempt as Konata's mech was very agile and had not a single problem of avoiding the slow ball and chain. However Kagami noticed all the damage that was now being caused to the school...and started to fear for the lives of the people in the school/

"What are you doing? You're most likely killing innocent people! Why would you do that Misao?" Kagami desperately and angrily shouted at Misao, getting her attention as she looked at the girl who was still at the window. The aura around her getting more rapid with its dark red hue.

"Hmm...you're right...I should just be killing you!" Misao agreed as she moved the other spiked ball in her hand and threw it at Kagami still in the window. However was blocked when Konata got in the way and took the blow.

"Konata!" Kagami screamed in horror as she noticed the Mech start to sway back towards her. Kagami quickly got out of the way as the machine smashed into the building with a loud crash, smashing everything it landed on

"Damn it...those things actually pack a nasty punch." Konata commented a bit weakly as she started to get up from the rubble. Kagami running to the opening that was just made by Konata's fall.

"You weren't supposed to do that! You should've just let me take the hit instead of yourself you idiot!" Kagami shouted as Konata fully got up. Sounding hurt and worried as her color changed to bright orange.

"Kagami...this is no time to be a Tsundere...you know I had to...I have to protect you!" Konata replied with a slight snicker as she fully regained her composure. Misao recalling both her spiked balls and starting to swing them again for her next attack.

"S-Shut up! This is no time to be calling me that! Fine if you're going to do it at least do it with some adequate defense you idiot!" Kagami embarrassingly said in an angry tone. Then noticing that Misao swung another spiked ball at Konata, who was just as defenseless as before but this time much weaker and not able to withstand another attack.

"Konata! Use a shield!" Kagami shouted at the top of her lungs. As soon as she did her aura changed to bright purple and it enveloped Konata's left arm, forming a bright purple shield that instantly deflected Misao's spiked ball/

"What the-!" Misao commented as she watched her spiked ball fly up into the hair then fall right in front of Konata's machine, obviously inflecting no damage to it whatsoever...uh oh Misao...someone's in trouble!

"Hey! Thanks Kagami!" Konata thanked brightly as she looked at the shield, then to Kagami as she gave her a thumbs up with her free hand.

"Did...Did...I do..." Kagami said weakly as the aura around her started to lull and fade. "That..." She then finished in almost of a whisper as she gasped for air and leaned against the wall.

"Alright Misa-kichi! Now it's my turn!" Konata screamed confidently as she charged at Misao's mech who was still recovering from the shock that her opponent somehow gained a shield.

"You damn Chibi! Go to hell!" She then viciously said as she swung her other spiked ball at Konata. However just like before it bounced right off of Konata's shield not even putting a scratch on it.

"Oh crap!" Misao screamed out in horror mirroring what Konata said earlier when she was being attacked.

Only this time the blow was going to land on its target. Konata raised her shield and smacked Misao's thin machine. She didn't have a lot of force behind it but the thing was apparently so heavy and durable it made Misao's machine spin around and land on its face. Konata wasted no time and raised her shield again and then rammed it into the chain that held one of Misao's spiked balls, shattering it and its link to the spiked weapon.

"D-Damn it! I guess I have no choice but to retreat!" Misao reluctantly admitted as she got up and rushed into the air. The engines on the back of the machine kicking in and getting her airborne.

"Don't think I'll let you get away from me that easily!" Konata declared in determination as she grabbed the other chain that was still linked to the spiked ball and her elbow. She stopped Misao from going any further ...determined to do more damage to her.

"D-Damn you! Damn You! Damn you!" Misao cursed furiously as she moved her free arm to her restrained arm and tore it off, freeing her from Konata's grip. "I'll get you back for this Chibbiko!" Misao angrily declared in what seemed like a promise as she flew away...wait she didn't have a detaching mechanism for the arm? Or even the chain for that matter? She had to tear it off? Geez...that sounds like Misa-kichi...

"Pfff...if all I need to defeat you is a shield...then sorry but I'm more intimidated by the lines at Comiket!" Konata arrogantly declared with a smug tone as she dropped the chain and then moved her arm up and down dismissively. The arm that was torn off from Misao's machine fell onto the library building, causing more damage to it.

"K...Konata..." Kagami said still in a weak tone as the aura around her now grew stronger than before...but didn't seem to help her physical condition as she started to slide down against the wall towards the floor.

"Kagami!" Konata shouted in concern and fear as she turned around. She put the shield into a standby position on her upper so she didn't have to hold it anymore and went back to the opening she caused from when she fell earlier. "We have to get out of here! Get into my hand!" Konata then ordered as she moved her machine's hand over to where Kagami was by the opening.

Kagami didn't make a response and just move forward as much as she can before falling into the hand and seeming to pass out right there. "Kagami!" Konata called in another shout, "Hold on! I'll take you home!" She then said as she covered up with her other hand so she would be safe and then activated her engines like Misao did, taking off into the skies most likely on her way home. Spreading purple sparkles behind the machine as it flew over the school grounds...giving it a very eerie purple glow.

However before I can close out this chapter...let me break out this one thing that technically should be happening much later in the story but since I'm telling it I'm just going to throw it in it here? That good! Good! Anyways...on a lone building across from the school a lone guy appeared on a rooftop. He got out a cell phone and then proceeded to call someone.

"Yeah it's me...yeah it's over...no she's fine...still alive but weak...not to mention vulnerable at the moment." He said a bit dryly as he conveyed the information to what happened to...umm...can't tell you yet...so I'll just call him...ummmm...Mr...Mysterious...and as for the guy talking...I'll call him...ummmm...Suspicious-san...yeah...that'll work!

"What did I think? It was terrible, for both sides. The Protector obviously doesn't know what she's doing, neither does the Maiden. On top of that the Nocturne seems to be completely useless if this is one of their Ten Servants...honestly it's a complete joke but as it stands both sides are equally pathetic...this might go on for weeks if it keeps up like this..." Suspicious-san then said in a complaining tone as he was basically grading both sides of the fight and was obviously not pleased with what he saw.

"Yes...I know...well...do you want me to intervene the next time so the battle doesn't get long and drawn out...I mean our goals will be accomplished faster this if I'm allowed to...oh...alright...I understand...but...if things get way out of hand next time...can I at least keep the foolishness to a minimum?" He then went on before asking Mr. Mysterious a question for him to get involved...oh boy I bet I know how he's going to respond!

"...Understood..." He then said calmly before hanging up the phone and turning to leave. Ummm...so was that a yes or a no? Hmmm...things just got a bit more...Mysterpicious! I like that term! I'm going to use it now! This story is now Mysterpicious! What will happen next in this Mysterpicious story? We'll have to find out next time won't we? And don't worry...I won't lose the book this time...heheh...

See ya!

**MECHAAAA YEAHHHHH! I mean...Ahem...Authors Notes/Rage**

Will this certainly was surprising and unexpected. For those of you who are following me...although why would you unless you're a masochist!...would notice that I haven't done anything outside of the Pageant story for over a month now...I originally said I would be doing this story along with a new story which is still in development and most likely won't see the light of day...but...ummm...let's just say the Holidays got involved along with life and I could barely keep the Pageant story afloat...so that plan was scrapped...

However...I still kept to the weekly schedule of Pageant story every Monday after I watched Gundam Build Fighters...well...this week there wasn't an episode. They took the week off and I decided to do the same thing which is why there's no Chapter 13. So instead I wrote this so I could say I did something for the week...and by god is it downright AWFUL...

I completely forgot where the hell I was going with this or where it was heading which is why it's all random. I had to reread the past two chapters and even watch a few episodes of the show to get an idea of what on god's green earth I was doing. It didn't help...this story is all over the place the action is confusing and cliché and what offended me the most is that I made Kagami a bit TOO Tsundere-y...It just doesn't sit right with me and is a very big glaring issue to me and probably to you...and everything else in this damn story now that I think about it!

Since I basically started fresh again I threw a lot of things in here I'm pretty sure weren't going to be here in the first place...like the mysterious man I really just threw in at the last second to make it more cliché and stupid. Also the fact the glowing is now stupid and overplayed along with the obvious "If you say it will exist" crap with the shield...Misao's really annoying and her machine I came up with on the fly...also the Narrator is in himself/herself a problem...you really have to ask yourself who the heck is the narrator...is it me? Konata? Haruhi? Someone else? Who? I don't know...maybe you should tell me...

When will Chapter 4 get here? Hold on let me burst into laughter... ... ... ... ok I'm good. I don't know...it will happen whenever the gods permit me enough time and sanity to sit down and write it...or if people tell me to write this instead because the pageant story is terrible and this is less terrible...I don't know...I don't know anything...leave me alone...do it yourself...how about that?

Ughh...whatever...until whenever...I am the always terrible no matter what...Dalek Saxon...SAYONARA!

P.S. As a note to everyone...more so myself since I'm sure I'll be checking back with this all the time...this is the Color guide to Kagami and what she's feeling as if it wasn't blatantly obvious enough.

Colors - Emotion or Feeling.

Dark Red - Anger

Light Red - Embarrassment

Pink - Love or something close to it

Yellow - Fear

Green - Jealousy

Blue - Happiness (Color of Konata's Hair of course)

Purple - Power/Might/Shrine Maiden Power (Color of her hair obviously)

Black - Emotionless and Expressionless or Dry and Un-amused

Orange - Nervous, Worried, or Sad

Grey - Confused

Brown - Disgusted/Sick of something

Rainbow/All the Colors at Once - Special or as I like to put it...TASTE THE RAINBOW MOTHER -censored-!

There...if you disagree or have a suggestion for me...bite me... I mean...tell me and I'll change it since I just came up with on the fly and isn't fully official...yet...so any suggestions be sure to bite me...I mean tell me!


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